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51 pages 1 hour read

Brian Hare, Vanessa Woods

Survival of the Friendliest: Understanding Our Origins and Rediscovering Our Common Humanity

Nonfiction | Book | Adult | Published in 2020

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Important Quotes

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“Carlos’s teacher, seeing how badly he was being teased and not wanting to put him on the spot, no longer called on him, inadvertently isolating him further.”


(Introduction, Page 6)

This situation exemplifies how well-intentioned actions can inadvertently exacerbate problems. The teacher’s decision to stop calling on Carlos, while meant to protect him, further isolated him. In this first case-study of the book, the authors show how critical it is for educators to find balanced approaches that support rather than sideline vulnerable students.

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“In a traditional classroom structure, children are in constant competition for their teacher’s approval. This inherent conflict—in which the success of one child threatens the success of another—can foster a toxic environment, and integration exacerbated this issue.”


(Introduction, Page 6)

This insight reveals how traditional educational structures can inadvertently foster division and hostility, particularly in diverse classrooms. This passage is an example of the book’s nuanced approach to human progress that supports racial desegregation but acknowledges transitional challenges. By framing the issue as systemic rather than individual, the authors critique the competitive nature of schooling that can hinder genuine integration and mutual respect among students.

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“Understanding the meaning of a point requires sophisticated mind reading. It generally means ‘If you look over there, you’ll know what I mean.’”


(Chapter 1, Page 25)

This quote highlights the development of theory of mind in human infants, marking the significant cognitive leap they make around nine months old when they begin to understand the communicative intent behind pointing. The act of pointing is described as a gateway to complex social interactions, demonstrating early cognitive abilities that underpin human communication and cooperation. This passage establishes an important strand of the book’s scientific evidence building: The sophisticated “mind reading” is foundational for theory of mind, a crucial element for

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